Hey guys welcome back to my channel, I’m so glad that you’re here My name is Stephanie and I am a life coach now, if you’re new to my channel, don’t forget to hit the subscribe button below and Don’t forget to leave any comments or questions in the Comment section below so: let’s get right into this week’s video so this week we’re talking about how to Spot and deal with a jealous or an insecure person, And this is really important because if you don’t know how to spot, you know sometimes It’s very obvious that Someone is jealous and insecure, but other times It’s not really that obvious that it’s hard to spot and if you yourself have insecurities Or wounds within your own self you’re going to take on an insecure person’s Projections or jealous person’s projections and insecurities that they have within Themselves, you’ll take all of that stuff on, so I want to go over how to spot this type of a person and how to Deal with them if you have to engage them in your day to day life, so right off the bat I want to get Into there are two types of insecure people and they both are under the same umbrella. They both have. You know very low self love self confidence in themselves, self Esteem And that’s why they’re insecure. But there are two types of insecurities:
There’S one person Who’s insecure, who takes the abuse from people takes on People’s projections. So, if they’re in a room with a bunch of people and everyone’s kind of talking about what is going on in their lives, This person will sit and compare their life to everyone. In the room, So if their friend you know susan just got a new job and they don’t have a new job. Yet They’re going to kind of wallow in that self-pity and you know destructive self Talk, Nonsense because they’re insecure themselves, They don’t have a healthy sense of self Insecure person. Number two is the person that likes to hurt other people or that lashes out and again They’re. Both Insecure, but they operate in different ways, and this is really important to know because a lot of times in relation chips, you’ll have two people that are both insecure and one person is the person that hurts people and lashes out the abuser and the other one Is the person that takes on the abuse and is insecure and Codependent themselves, so in this video
I’M really going to focus on insecure person number two, because this is the person that Is abusive. You know this is the sociopath, a narcissistic person who, both of them in themselves are severely Insecure and that’s why they do the things that they do, But also anyone can really have this level of insecurity. And it’s good to know Who, in your life, has this insecurity within themselves, because they can be kind of a toxic person, And it’s good to know who are People in your life that are toxic, are unhealthy and have these Wounds or issues within themselves. That they’re not dealing with, and instead of dealing with them, They’re lashing out on other people. So for this video, I’m really going to focus on this person being able to spot this person and Learning how to deal with this person. If you have to have them in your life, so one of the things with an insecure person That feels the need to hurt other people and again a lot of this stuff is done on an unconscious level.
They’Re not really aware That they’re doing it, They just have these habits of doing certain things that are hurtful and abusive that harm other people, and they essentially Feel better or feel good about themselves. After doing it, which is a little sick and twisted That’s the way, a jealous or an insecure person Live their life so for an insecure person, They do The thing that I just I’m sure we’ve all Come in contact with this type of a person that just Likes to one-up you so if you’re having a conversation with this person, They you know when you’re saying they’re asking you, you know: how are you What’s going on your life and you’re telling them They always are doing so much better than you? So You know if your son just graduated third grade – And you got all b’s and you’re just so proud of him. Well their son just graduated fifth grade And he got straight a’s and he just made the soccer team like there’s. Always this competition between who’s doing better in life, it’s just It’s just the way they are they’re, almost like conversational narcissists, sometimes and again, if that Insecurity is that wound within themselves, that they can’t just sit and be happy for someone else, They constantly have to one-up. You to make themselves feel better about their own lives. These people are also the types of people that Love to gossip
They just love to talk about everyone else, They’re so nosy about what everyone else is doing. They are the ones that are always asking like probing and inappropriate questions, because they just want to find out as much information As they can on everyone.
So they want to know all the good stuff. That’S going on in your life Because they’re going to one-up you and they’re doing even better or they want to know all the bad stuff in your life, because it Makes them feel better that they’re not going through something that you’ve gone through or you are going Through you know, these are people that Want to know everything about you, because they want to find the little holes in your life Where you, where they have something that you don’t like. It’S that’s. What makes them feel better inside So by gossiping and talking about other people and – and you know, we’ve all been there –
We’Ve all Judged other people, we’ve all gossiped We’re human. You know it happens from time to time, But the difference between a healthy person that sometimes will judge or gossip and this type of a person is When you’re, healthy and you’re. Judging in your gossiping, It doesn’t feel good you, it feels gross like you know after you do it You’re like okay, I shouldn’t have done that and now I feel kind of nasty that I just did that where these people They don’t get that same feeling, they Just feed off of the gossip and But you know spreading of rumors and talking about everyone else’s business and sticking their nose in where it doesn’t belong. They’Re just proving and asking questions.
They don’t get that you know this feels gross type of a feeling. This is just what they do, because they want to find out as much information as they can on everyone else, So they can just feel better about their own selves. These are the people that also love to brag, they brag, they show off their Accomplishments, and you know I’m a big advocate of celebrating your wins. You know celebrating your accomplishments, I think that’s absolutely huge, But we’ve all been around a person that does it just a little too much Or just brag the little too long, where now you’re starting to think is this person even really genuine and happy or they just I’M getting the sense that they’re just bragging now and they’re just kind of showing off and then it’s not even genuine anymore, And that’s when that insecurity really comes out. Some people do it where they’re showcasing A new job or it could be money or it could be flaunting a relationship or it could be. You know, flaunting their children. It could be anything something where they’re just Bragging a little too much about something to the point. Where you feel you feeling neatly That it’s not genuine anymore, but there’s a reason why this person keeps going on and on and bragging, and you know talking about all of their successes and everything And these people often don’t talk about the things that aren’t always going. So well in their life and again It’s not about focusing on the negative It’s about just being human and saying you know what this isn’t going, that great and that’s okay, You know it will be but being more realistic in life. These are the people that always want to showcase that their life is absolutely perfect and you know they’re just going on and on about all the great things that are going on in their life to a point where it’s Just a little too much. But people that have great stuff going on in their lives and the people that are really happy and content with themselves. They definitely celebrate themselves and they they talk about what’s going on in their life, but they Stop at a certain point because of a certain point. They then know and feel that if they keep going on that, There’s no need to I’ve made my point.
I’Ve expressed how happy and content I am and how I have this great relationship or this great career Or this you know amazing child or you know whatever this accomplishment, There’s a war that I received and then that’s kind of the end of it. So The people that need to keep going on and on with what’s going on in their life, And how amazing is we we’ve all been there? We’Ve all seen this person before we’re all of a sudden. We feel like okay, that’s not really genuine and now you’re. Just bragging – and it sounds kind of Like you’re, not even really happy that you’re trying to prove that you’re happy the next thing with insecure people, and this sounds Really sad because I’m assuming a lot of adults watch this video and not a lot of you know. Kids, nice school, But maybe they do, but you know the stuff that happens when we’re younger like making fun of people and Belittling people and doing the bullying and all that type of stuff. It happens when you’re an adult as well, Because some people don’t really ever grow out of that childlike mentality. So the insecure people are the people that love to just make fun of other people. So if someone’s doing well or just got, you know Just lost 20 pounds Or just did something really great in their life or even if they just didn’t. These are the people that need to always be making fun of other people, because again, just like when you’re 14 And you’re in high school or 16 and you’re in high school. You know the person that was always making fun of everyone else was actually the person that was very insecure and It’s the same thing when you’re an adult the person – that’s always judging and always Gossiping and always making fun of other people is the person that is Just very insecure and unhappy with themselves and have Severe wounds within themselves that they’re not acknowledging And they’re, not looking to heal or if they have acknowledged something within themselves. They haven’t worked on themselves long enough to heal all of that stuff inside of themselves. These are the people that They just love to start drama, so a lot of the Gossiping and the making fun and talking about people behind their back and bragging changes. All of that stuff combined is Drama, so they love to start drama. So when they’re gossiping and they’re talking about other people and they’re saying oh well, I heard this, and I heard so-and-so said this about you and all of that nonsense: They’re doing it because they want to get a reaction out of you.
They want to start something between people that Doesn’t need to be started. It shouldn’t be started, That’s none of their yes, But because there’s someone secure and they need to be in the middle of everything that’s going on and everyone else’s lives. They can’t just take a step back and say that has nothing to do with me and I’m not going to talk about anyone else behind their back or make up stories or ask probing questions like Bouncing people. Happy people don’t do any of that stuff. So because they’re so either insecure within themselves or jealous of the person they’re doing it to This is the behavior that happens because of that because of that wound within themselves. These are also the people that are extremely Paranoid and I always find it amusing, because very insecure or jealous people are very paranoid people. They always think that someone’s talking about them. So if you’re at like a party or a function or whatever and There’s two friends talking and the third friend is kind of off doing whatever you know, she’ll come back and be like. Oh We’re going to talk about me.
What were you guys talking about like they’re, so Paranoid that you know they’re either going to miss out on some information Or that someone’s talking about them behind their back or you know a lot of people in Relationships that are insecure, very paranoid people they think you Know what is he doing What’s going on? And you know all they’re just Severely severely jealous insecure people, because they have that stuff inside of themselves that they haven’t dealt with. They haven’t brought up to the surface And I always find it funny that the people that are the most Paranoid in life are the people that are paranoid about the things that they do themselves. So when the person’s paranoid, because they’re wondering if other people are talking about them in the room or what that conversation was about, It’s probably because they just turned around and gossiped behind someone else’s back. So how do we begin to deal with these types of people? You know I always look at it Like you need to figure out who your life, if they aren’t secure, And they have some of these tendencies. You know, maybe you have some in your life that does all of these things And maybe that’s a relationship that you might want to reconsider. But because it’s you know always good to surround yourself with happy and healthy people. But you might have a friend where maybe he or she doesn’t check the box on each one of these things, But they do one thing in particular. So maybe you know you have a friend Bob who he One-up shoe every time you have a conversation with them. He always has to tell you what he has is better than yours, and the conversation immediately goes straight over to him. When he’s the one that asked you, how are you doing And he just cuts you off after you’ve, given a little bit of information as to? What’S happening in your life and he continues to tell you all the amazing things that are happening in his and goes on and on and on and doesn’t really want to sit there and be happy for you. The biggest thing to remember is: don’t take any of that on, if someone’s rubbing in your face, something that they have you don’t have congratulate them, say I’m so happy that you had that because the reality is, you will have that someday and You know if that Person really cared about you and loved you. They would never do that to you and Even if they don’t like you, if they were happy and healthy themselves, they still wouldn’t do that to you. So that’s something that’s huge to remember to not take on someone Else’s Insecurities, because when you do that means you’re, insecure yourself And you’re, letting that person hit that wound inside of you and when you’ve healed all of your wounds or Even a lot of your wounds. People won’t be able to do that to you anymore And when someone does it, you might feel it because you’re human, you might do all of that. That’S stung a little about her, but you’ll immediately be able to just push it aside and say: okay, That was you just being really insecure and meaning to feel better about yourself by doing what you just did to me. That was hurtful And you don’t take on someone else’s stuff. The big thing with dealing with these types of people is it’s a great example And a great test to how much you really love yourself. So if someone is rubbing something in your face – Or you know bragging too much or whatever and you all of a sudden start feeling a little insecure about your own self great, This is the perfect time to start parenting yourself to start giving yourself positive self-talk. So encouraging yourself and loving yourself and Treating yourself the way you know a parent would treat a child if your child came to you or even Someone, you really love. If they came to you and said you know, Jody just rubbed in my face that she just got this new job And I would really love a new job like I want to switch my career. What would someone that loves? You say to you or what would you say to your friend, You would say: honey,
Don’T worry about that? Don’T let any of that stuff even bother you, because they’re really insecure and that’s why they’re doing what they’re doing And you’re an amazing person and you are going to get there. This is the time when you really start loving yourself in coaching yourself. This is a great opportunity to rise to the occasion and not React. You know negatively or with Jealousy or any of that any of that stuff as well, Because it’s just bringing your vibration down and you’re meeting that person where they are. I mean We’re all human at times, and sometimes when people do certain things it really just it. Stings it does, but it’s our own egos that are causing that sting to even happen. So, if you can just remove your ego, a little bit take a deep breath know that what they’re doing has Nothing to do with you. It’S they’re dealing with some stuff within themselves And they’re, just projecting it out onto you when you can start to recognize that you will have Self confidence in yourself and you’ll say that has nothing to do with me And I’m not going to. Let anyone bring me down or try to start drama, or you know gossip about me behind my back Whatever they can do, whatever they want.
It’S not going to affect my mood and my happiness because really Healthy and happy People don’t even waste their time Dealing with jealous or insecure people, It’s the people that feel like they need to fight back or the people that just wallow in self-Pity. Those are the people That are losing those are the people that are wasting their time and energy on something that has nothing to do with them. You know these. Those are the people that haven’t created a healthy wall to kind of deflect. All of that negativity off of them. These are the people that haven’t learned how to really self parent themselves and love themselves and talk them through Situations when people are just trying to hurt you. What I would really love from you guys is tell me about your thoughts and opinions Like have you ever dealt with this type of person before and what did they do that you felt Came from a very insecure jealous place, and how did you react to it? How did you overcome it So guys? Thank you so much for watching Have a great day and don’t forget to leave any questions or comments in the comment section below and don’t forget to give this video A thumbs up. If you liked it – and I will see you next time –