Narcissists & Sex Addiction Part 3

Did you know that sex addiction and narcissism
are closely related to each other. By the end of this video, you're going to
know why sex addition is so prevalent with narcissists. I am Rebecca Zung Top 1% Attorney and the
bestselling author of the books Negotiate Like You M.A.T.T.E.R and Breaking Free, A
Step By Step Divorce Guide and I've helped thousands of people go from lives of drama,
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So if you've watched parts one and two in
this series, then you know that narcissists use sex as a way of controlling and gas lighting
their partners. If you haven't watched part one and two of
this series now is a good time to go back and make sure that you do that. But one of the things that you should know,
if you haven't watched it is that narcissists need an endless amount of what we call narcissistic
supply. Supply is anything that feeds their ego. Narcissist have no internal sense of value
whatsoever, they're like the hollow chocolate Easter bunnies, you know they look good on
the outside, but there's nothing going on inside. So what they need is an endless amount, it's
like this black hole that can never be filled of trying to suck as much out of the people
that are around them to try to make themselves feel better.

It's an endless quest, endless quest of trying
to feel better, trying to feel better, trying to feel better and they never can, never can,
never can because there was something that was broken deep inside of them long ago when
they were children, some kind of traumatic event or something took place that broke inside
of them where they said, hey, I'm broken. There's something wrong with me. I am scared. I am vulnerable. The only way that I'm going to be able to
cover up that there's something seriously wrong with me is by an endless amount of narcissistic
supply. So supply is anything that feeds their eco. It could be money, it could be compliments,
it could be prestige, but it also has a darker side. The darker side of supply is control and doing
anything they can to feel a sense of control over another person, or a sense of making
the other person feel less than they are, or more importantly, that they are better,
that they are higher, that they're perfect in some way.

So this endless cycle goes on with narcissists
in every aspect of their lives. So why would their sex life be any different? Well, it's not, it's not. It's actually a perfect little chasm, a perfect
little place that is a smaller area of what goes on with everything else. But with narcissists and sex, it's a perfect
place for them to exert control over the other person because the person is vulnerable to
them. Because when you're with your romantic partner,
you want to appear desirable. You want to be attractive and so you're being
vulnerable, you're exposing yourself to this person and that is a perfect place for a narcissist
to zone in and hurt you and use that as a way of controlling you and gas lighting you
and psychologically abusing you.

When narcissists are dealing with sex one
of the things that you'll often see is they become sex addicts because it's a way for
them to try to feed that beast. So if people are saying that they're so attractive
or they want them in some way, then they want more and more and more and more of that. So they end up having many different conquests
to show look how attractive I am. I actually did a deposition of a wife's boyfriend
one time, I was representing the husband and right in the middle of the deposition, the
boyfriend says to me, ask me how many women I've been with and I'm thinking, I don't really
care how many women you've been with I'm trying to find out if you're paying for stuff with
the wife.

He was this Spanish guy, and he's like asking
me how many women I've been with. Go ahead, ask me. And I'm like, I don't care. So I wouldn't ask him and he says, a lot of
women, a lot of women. Because I wouldn't ask him, he just decided
to volunteer the information. Here's a perfect example of a person who was
using the fact that he had been with a lot of women to beef up his ego, to make him feel
more important and make him feel like he's more attractive to everybody. So when you're dealing with narcissists you
see that, where they have multiple conquests and become addicted to sex in that way.

Another way that they do it, which is kind
of like the opposite of that is they actually have no sex with anybody at all, because they're
addicted to porn or masturbating on their own because they don't want to be controlled
by another person. Because they can't have intimacy with another
person. They don't want to have vulnerability with
another person.

So that's another thing that you'll see with
narcissists sometimes as well. A lot of times what you see with narcissists
is that they will start having other kinds of conquests too, such as with prostitutes
and things like that. I mean, sometimes they have a perfectly loving
spouse at home, but yet you see them off with prostitutes because that's a way of them feeling
more attractive, of feeling dangerous, of taking risks, of being with someone who's
going to be willing to do the kinds of things that the spouse maybe isn't willing to do. Because you do see that with narcissists sometimes
where they expect more and more and more from a spouse. If they don't do it, then they tell the spouse,
well, I'm just going to go find it somewhere else then. It's a way of controlling the spouse by saying,
hey if you're not willing to do S and M with me, or you're not willing to do a threesome,
or you're not willing to engage in these crazy positions. I've seen situations in divorces where the
husband was forcing the wife to have sex with another man while he watched and he set up
video cameras in their bedrooms.

So he wasn't there when it happened, but he
wanted her to go out, find someone, have sex with this person in their bedroom, with the
cameras on, so that he could watch. She didn't want to have to do that anymore. That is a perfect example of somebody who
is being psychologically abused by their spouse. If you think that this is just not okay, give
me a not okay in the comments. So just remember that sex and narcissism are
symbiotically intertwined with each other. Very often narcissists use sex as a way of
gas lighting their partners, psychologically abusing their partners, exerting control over
their partners and making their partners miserable and causing drama, trauma, and chaos for their
partners. If you are seeing this and you are just so
ready to get the hell out of this relationship, make sure you check out my videos on, do this
to move on from a narcissist parts one and two, and I will drop links to both of those
below.

If you're getting ready to negotiate with
the narcissist, make sure you grab my free Crush My Negotiation Prep Worksheet. It's 15 pages, it's basically an ebook it's
totally free. You can either grab it from the link below
or just go to winmynegotiation.com and get yours. If you want to connect with other people who
are dealing with narcissists please join my free private Facebook group, it's called Narcissist
Negotiators with Rebecca Zung And I'll drop a link to that below so you can just click
on it and join.

If you like this video, give it a, like, give
it a share, drop me a comment, let me know that you were here and make sure that you've
subscribed to my channel, you've hit that notification bell so that you will be notified
when I upload new content every single time. If you haven't watched parts one and two of
this series on narcissism and sex now's a good time to go and check those out too. I'm Rebecca Zung. I'm so glad that you stopped by. Remember that today's a great day to start
negotiating your best life, and I'll see you in the next video..

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